Archive for July, 2010

Sticks and stones may break my bones…..

July 28, 2010

but words can never hurt me….somehow, its not very true lor.

It’s been a long while and I am pretty much exhausted from the daily demands of life. I can’t see beyond tomorrow and I am unsettled about that.

I should really be drafting my projection for a joint venture with a friend, but all that I’ve done since an hour and 15mins ago was surfing the internet, trying to decide if I should get the long or the short Veneta wallet!! The best part is, I still can’t decide. What does that make me? An indecisive woman! sigh….

Rae is going through a very tough period in her little world now and I shouldn’t try to solve the problem for her or should I say I can’t seem to do anything about it. She’s got a very sensitive spirit and too much so for her own good (and mine), she’s been spending recess with the school guard by sitting with him at the canteen and waits for the bell to ring and goes back to class (which she truly enjoys). Apparently, her best friend,S,  has been on MC for a few days and she fell out with another girl,N, who turned nasty after the event. Rae treasures the friendship with N a lot (it seems) and doesn’t want to go with anyone else, except S who came back to school 2 days ago. But S is too busy catching up with all that she’s missed out while on MC to spend recess with Rae, who then sat with the guards again yesterday (till another friend came and cheered her up). At dinner last night, Rae suddenly declared that she won’t be bringing her lunchbox which we had packed together earlier in the afternoon. Because she does not think she will be hungry enough to eat at recess. At bedtime, when I ask if she had any prayer request, her eyes lit up and asked that I pray for N to be her friend again. I know it really isn’t a major disaster but my hear aches to know that she’s going through this and Hubba thinks that her can’t-eat-don’t-want-special-treats at recess is due to the fact that she doesn’t know how to cope with her emotions and the  situation right now. I held back tell her to go stick a branch up N’s nose or tie S to the chair in the canteen, and most of all, I refrained from solving the problem for her. Instead I prayed with her on every separation or occasion, I prayed with her while we were walking, before her bedtime, before I kissed her goodbye at the school gate, before I dropped her off at her chinese enrichment class. I’ve never prayed so fevently with her (or for that matter, for anyone).  I even wrote on a post-it to remind myself to pray at the time where she is due for recess! 

There’s slight improvement it seems, she told me not-superbly excited but had a slight smile on her face that N is her friend again and she’s happy. I tried to tell her the big adult story and FACTS of life that no one will stay with anyone forever and ever, and at stages of our lives, people will leave us or we will walk out of some relationships (like how Yi Yi broke up with her jerk boyfriend, how I dropped a few ungrateful and unappreciative friends etc etc not good examples I know but I really can’t think very well after pondering over this for so long). She seems to understand and told me she will ‘revive’ her friendship with a few others whom she was close to initially.

Jenny, the sweetheart that she is , has aside Friday to bring Antoine and Chloe to have dinner with us. The kids and her wanted to bring some joy to Rae. I told Rae that they are examples of good friends. Friends who make you feel good about yourself, friends who encourage you, who stands by you. Those that hurt you are not friends ( as I said that I was visualizing sticking the said branch into N’s nose).

Nothing much I can do now but continue to pray with her.

PS:I am also sensitive, so please don’t say anything that goes along the line “she’s such a big girl already/why such a loser?/ are you serious?she still cries at school?” I don’t appreciate such comments because she is my daughter and I wont’ stand such nasty remarks. If you have nothing positive to say, keep your comments to yourself. I know why she is like that and I am sure she will ride this through victoriously. I am giving her time as Hubba suggested.